Irish woman in Aberdeen posts the most 'Irish' housemate ad ever. Can you help?

Irish woman Elaine (no last name given) is in Aberdeen and has a problem. 

After a couple of weeks of looking, she still hasn't managed to find somewhere suitable to live. But she's not giving up – and in true Irish style, she's cutting straight to the chase with this no nonsense Gumtree advert for a 'superstar flat mate'.

She cooks, she cleans, she can dance like a farmer – what more do you want? Elaine has also promised to teach her prospective housemates how to make the perfect cup of tae (that's tae, not tea) and how to love The Sawdoctors.

She'll also stop off at the shop on the way home from work to pick up the milk and bread, switch off the lights when you're not in the room and talk about Father Ted until the cows come home. 

So can you help her out?

Full advert is reproduced below: (Many thanks to Elaine's friend Lisa for the amazing photos)

Superstar Flat Mate At Your Service 

Aberdeen

Date wanted: 28/01/13

Look no further, as I am available asap, just a quick chat and youll love me a as much as my mammy does. How easy was that? No messing about, no notice to give, no nonsense, clean cut and sorted. 

About me: I am a 31yr old (32 in March) Irish female and why you may ask am I in Aberdeen… well due to a little thing called the downturn in the Irish economy I have found myself living in Scotland, but at least I am working in a super cool job with the local authority, booya… I’m not making millions but I earn enough to live and that’s where you come in... I need a home and im looking for a nice affordable flat I can share with just one, or a few, nice, friendly, social people (compliments and flattery are included for free). 

I’m a great flatmate; I turn off light switches, recycle, vacuum, do the washing, my own and occasionally yours too, I clean up after myself, will polish and even dust those cobwebs off the ceiling. Ill even get free energy saving bulbs for the house…see saving you money already, all about added value and in the famous words of the Irish Supermarket chain Dunnes Stores, Better Value Beats them All!! 

I wil stop at the local shop and pick up the forgotten loaf of bread and a carton of milk on my way home from work, dedication at its best. AND I travel around the countryside as part of my job so I visit lots of little shops and like nothing better than bring home a few gifts, cakes and food, so if you like presents for no reason whatsoever, then you’re in for a treat. I work all week so no midweek late night parties but on a random wed may push the boat out every now and then to stay up late and finish watching a movie I have no interest in, even better if you also have no interest in the movie also. 

This brings us to the most important subject, I am very Irish and being Irish has its perks of course, I am skilled in many ways, I am able to dance like an Irish farmer, decipher multiple Irish accents from east to west, I can call a fellow Irish man a Culchie or a Jackeen without getting the head pucked (beaten) off me and I can say things like ‘Fellow Irish Man’ or ‘The Lads’ without sounding derogatory towards women (myself). I have also built up a working knowledge of Fr. Ted episodes over the years and although it is still a work in progress I am a keen user of random Fr. Ted Phrases in conversations, who doesnt love a tv hit series based around two catholic priests and a tea obsessed housekeeper which brings me nicely into my the subject of TAE. 

I drink the tae (or tea) I like my tae strong, no sugar with a teaspoon of milk and as we get to know each other I will endeavour to make your tae just the way you like it and ill even throw in a few buttered biccies from time to time. 

Yes I can cook; I will aim to delight you with Irish Stew, Bacon and Cabbage (there is a song about that btw, I am a savage for bacon and cabbage..and so on), and colcannon. I can also knock up a curry from scratch and can bake a mean pavlova desert and although I have tried unfortunately I have also failed to remove the calories after many attempts. 

AND Music, I love it, lots of it, folk, trad, metal the works. Always up for a good ceilidh as well and therefore you are guaranteed a partner at the Friday night ceilidhs in the music hall, bonus! T&C of the flatmate agreement may have to include a trip to see the Irish Band The Sawdoctors if they are playing within a hundred mile radius, where dancing your little arse off and screaming songs into mid air is more than appropriate alongside drinking beer and shouting ‘go on ya good thing’. I can find humour and entertainment out of the most desolate of situations, see.. im an optimist on top of all my other fantastic housemates traits. 

Did I mention that I am Irish, Irish and amazing, two for the price of one and as this is a limited offer, don’t delay and get free delivery included! Elaine xx