Grotty, revolting with a slimy rear garden - a charming description of a house for sale in Howth

Image: Daft.ie

Spotted by baz on Reddit, this property for sale in Howth, Co Dublin, certainly has one of the most honest descriptions we've ever seen. In fact, it may be a bit too honest.

The property, being advertised on Daft.ie, is on the market for €229,000 but I don't know if these estate agents are really selling it ...

'Do not be mislead by the attractive exterior of this double fronted village cottage with its dirty sash windows and rickety hall door; all is not well on the inside.

Not entirely devoid of plumbing, there is a grotty kitchen with a cold tap.

 Although, it is still habitable judging by the bed of rags, fag ends and bottles that used to adorn one corner.'

Hmmm, what's not to like? See the full property description below.

Image: Daft.ie

Full property description: 

The late Roy Brooks was affectionately known as the "honest estate agent". He will be 42 years deceased this September. His witty descriptions printed in the small adds of the Sunday Times and Observer became famous due to his unique humour in describing the run down properties he sold in 1960's London.

20 Main Street Howth is a "fixer upper" and we wish to quote Trevor Kent, who wrote a lovely article in 2006 remarking of Mr Brooks "who could resist making an appointment to view a bargain described as thus" ;

Do not be mislead by the attractive exterior of this double fronted village cottage with its dirty sash windows and rickety hall door; all is not well on the inside.

Not entirely devoid of plumbing, there is a grotty kitchen with a cold tap. Not much of a bathroom although Howth has excellent public bathing in the nearby Balscadden Bay !

Untouched by the 21st century as far as conveniences for even the basic human decencies are concerned. Although, it is still habitable judging by the bed of rags, fag ends and bottles that used to adorn one corner.

The décor of the six principle rooms, some of which hangs inelegantly from the walls is revolting. Daylight peeps in here and there and the lack of insulation has encouraged the insects to move elsewhere.

The slimy rear garden is over grown although it appears to have a decent amount of space. It gets plenty of afternoon sun if you'd care to idle out there !

Otherwise there is not much wrong with this property.

With plenty of scope for the socially aspiring to express their decorative taste, sacrifice €229,000. Tarted up these houses can make four hundred grand !

Categories: Property, Howth, Dublin, Daft.ie, Houses, Funny

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