Opinion: Education is the Way Forward – SpunOut.ie and Threesomes

When I first heard the emerging story of outrage at an article about threesomes on SpunOut.ie, I can’t say I was surprised. 

Most of us in Ireland are barely comfortable with speaking about condoms and other forms of contraception, let alone educating young people on enjoying sex! I rolled my eyes and figured it was just another conservative piece on keeping our children innocent and it would be lining tomorrow’s chips. 

However as Monday broke, it became apparent this would not be the case. 

SpunOut was defending itself on various media types and everyone had an opinion. I, as a trained youth worker and a sex positive information advocate, am of the opinion that SpunOut were completely right to inform on threesomes and all other topics they cover under their sexual health section.

I gradually became quite angry at the attention this was getting. 

Here was an incredible resource for Ireland's youth having its funding questioned all because it dared to publish an article that suggested sex might be more than condoms and something women have to endure. 

Threesomes may not be the most mainstream sex activity, I don’t know as there is no research I can find on it in Ireland (surprise surprise). However just because something isn’t “mainstream” does not mean we should decline to inform people, especially young people who will undoubtedly go looking for information elsewhere. 

This is where I get uneasy. 

Typing threesomes into Google leads you into a world of pornographic images and what isn’t porn is today opinion pieces on this topic, and articles from lads sites on how to get your missus to agree to one. All of this is very unrealistic.

I’m not much more than a teen myself in the grand scheme of things and I find myself in a position where I have been extremely fortunate to have had supportive friends, caring partners and incredible youth workers who have all contributed to the amount of correct information I have and my attitude towards sex. 

I recognize and know from personal experience that not all young people are as fortunate as I have been. I also know from friends and young people that I have worked with that many young lads are being told that blowjobs and threesomes are the golden duo of sexual acts and that they should strive to attain them at all costs. 

These messages come from many sources, media and porn being the main culprits, and are not coming alongside messages of respecting your partners or how to go about discussing or having threesomes (or blowjobs for that matter). It’s because of these confusing and incomplete messages that young people feel pressure, thinking if their peers are having sex and these are the top two things sexually then I must be doing these things. 

Spun Out provide the information missing from the other messages, that yes these may be great experiences but they also may not be every ones cup of tea and not everyone is or has to experience them.

In my eyes Spun Out did and continues to do the right thing in regard to promoting safe healthy and enjoyable sex in all its forms and I will continue to support them and recommend them as a reliable resource of information on all of the topics they cover.