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The 35 fondest memories of an Irishman facing the Apocalypse
So with this supposed Apocalypse on 21 December 2012 it got me to thinking – what would Irish people's most treasured memories be in the face of impending doom?
Here are 35 of mine.
1. Caffrey's Snowballs
Completely underrated and sure we couldn't ignore them with it being Christmas.
2.Dustin and Socky
Ah they were the best part of growing up. Not to mention, Zig and Zag, Zuppy, Snotser, Ted, Podge, and of course Damien McCaul's mammy.
I had completely forgotten about the toy grand prix until I watched this clip.
3. Winning Streak
Don't even try to tell me you haven't become enthralled in an episode of Winning Streak at least once in your lifetime!
From Mike Murphy to Marty Whelan, and everyone in between, Winning Streak is an institution. It brings hoards of lunatics from across the country, going nuts in the audience like they're in Croker on All-Ireland final day.
4. Baby calves
Image: Dublin Zoo
They grow up to scare some people, there's no denying that a new-born calf is as cute as a button.
5. The one fingered salute
The official wave of Irish motorists. Thou shalt never pass an oncoming vehicle without giving illustrated greeting.
6. Tea
What can be written about tea that hasn't already? A beverage which is not as much a drink as it is a pasttime.
7. Sing-songs
From hoolies in college...(watch out for the Voice of Ireland, Pat Byrne in this one)
To Irish fans singing the Home and Away theme tune during Euro 2012.
8. Playing mass as a child
Image: WDPRS
Well we didn't have the whole get-up of this fella, but I know lots of kids who used to play mass when they were younger. Like holy Joes we'd queue with hands clasped waiting for the 'priest' to hand out a Silvermint for communion.
And sure ye couldn't hunt the same ones into a chapel now says you!
9. Ray Houghton
He put the ball in the England net! And the Italian one.
10. Underage blitzes
Ah yes, the underage blitz. Every GAA player has experienced its majesty.
Never mind playing in Croke Park, pay no heed to senior championships or representing your county, those feats hold nothing to getting presented with a bottle of fizzy drink and a bags of crisps that would have cost 10p at the time.
11. Giving out
Things that have annoyed me today:
The weather, technology, my stomach, weak tea, a very dry chicken curry, my stomach, the fact that I couldn't sleep last night, Twink, the price of stuff in Spar, the cost of Dublin Bus, the fact that Dublin Bus is always late, Google Chrome, the thoughts of having to cook dinner when I go home, needing to shave, running out of olive oil, and did I mention the bad tea?
12. The Sunday Game theme music
Remember those few years when they had gotten rid of it? Dark days, dark days indeed.
13. Willie O'Dea's moustache
It's glorious!
14. Chawwwk Ices
15. Ducking chairs
Image: Mike's Photos 2009
The staple of any country fair, festival or jamboree. If you haven't seen one in action than you haven't lived.
16. The scenery
Image: masterbutler
It's a lovely country all the same.
17. The Michael Collins film
'They may take our lives but they'll never ta'... Oh wait wrong film.
18. Katie Taylor
The shining light of 2012, and one the greatest Irish sports people in history. Katie captured the hearts of the entire nation, and if the rapture is coming for her he should be afraid, very afraid.
19. Funny Irish people on the News
Every bit of land we have is covered!
20. Club lottos
Those fecks of tickets are the bane of many GAA players' existence. Every Saturday night, heading into town to walk from pub to pub, trying to sell lottos.
Generally two quid for four numbers, the poor pub-going folk can often be pestered by as many as five or six local clubs on a weekend.
21. Silage Season
I love the smell of silage in the morning.
The most exciting time of the year for many people in the country. It brings with it early mornings, late nights, sandwiches, greasing machinery, accidentally getting stabbed by your uncle with a pitchfork, your mother having 15 people for the dinner, and getting the trailer stuck on the side of a hill, amongst other things.
22. People randomly abusing Pat Kenny
Poor old Pat Kenny gets an awful time of it. Constantly on the receiving end of random heckling and abuse from the crowd. When will it ever end?!
23. Pat Kenny
Image: Broadsheet
Ah he's great all the same though.
24. Calling in for a chat
Sure you never know who might call around for a mug of tea and a chat, at any time of the day or night.
25. Dublin Zoo
The zoo is great and just to prove it here are 9 of the cutest baby animals there.
26. Father Dougal
The rapture? Sure what's the big deal? They come in, they strip down the wallpaper, they fumigate the place and then they're gone.
27. All-Ireland final day
Mine and many other Irish people's favourite two days of the year.
28. Cully and Sully soup
Image: cullyandsully
Just really really good soup.
29. Niall Quinn's disco pants
All together now: 'Niall Quinn's disco pants are the best, they go up from his arse to his chest ... Niall Quinn's ... DISCO PANTS!'
30. Building tree houses
Image: WDNR
A much-loved activity for any Irish child. Some of the offerings were pretty poor, but sure wasn't the whole fun in the building of it. Our tree house still stands today, although I doubt it'd keep in much heat in this weather.
31. Old clips of Glenroe
Good God almighty I really hate that Dick Moran.
32. Crisp sandwiches
Image: TheDailySpud.com
Crisp sandwiches, the solution to all of life's problems.
33. Brush dancing
My secret passion for brush dancing has been bubbling under the surface for many years. Finally I've built up the courage to openly admit how much I'm enthralled by it – what a bizzare and fantastic spectacle.
34. Declan Nerney
Ah he's great!
35. The immersion
Picture the scene: The world ends on 21 December and the Irish are up in heaven having a whale of time, until one person thinks about life back on earth and suddenly realises 'Crap I left on the immersion!!'
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